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unable to possess junk in Ohio.
Unfortunately, I lack the ability to acquire a single worthless substance while living inside the great state of. No nonsense for me, sadly.
Regrettably, I am unable to have even a speck of excrement within the state of. No nonsense available around here, unfortunately. Can't acquire any waste within OH.
Unfortunately, I'm missing the ability to have any nonsense while residing within the borders of the Buckeye State. No garbage available in these parts, sadly. I am lacking even a trace of excrement inside OH.
Alas, it is beyond my reach to obtain even a tiny bit of waste while located in Ohio. No nonsense available in this area, unfortunately. I can't have even a speck of feces within the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh dear, regrettably I am constrained to obtain a single crap whilst residing within the state of Ohio. No nonsense in my possession, alas. I am unable to obtain any of substance within Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I can't to obtain any shit while staying within the state of Ohio. No crap to be found here, unfortunately. I can't have the tiniest amount of excrement within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I am unable to obtain even a single nonsense during residing within Ohio. No garbage to be found here, alas. I lack any dung within the great state of Ohio.